When I finally woke up, my eyelids were heavy, making it difficult to open them. My mouth felt dry as I swallowed, and when I tried to move, the covers seemed too heavy over me. Something soft and warm caressed my forehead–it took me a moment to register that they were lips. Slowly, memories crashed into me as I fought to open my eyes.
“Kil…lian,” I murmured when I finally managed to look up.
“You’re awake?” His lips moved, and then I met his dark eyes.
I tried to speak, but instead, I coughed. Killian hurriedly got up, reaching for something behind him. Helping me sit up and lean back, he placed a glass against my lips, and I swallowed a few gulps of water. I pushed the glass away as my vision cleared.
I was lying in a comfortable king–sized bed with white covers draped over me. Killian sat beside me, leaning his back against the headboard. He set the glass aside, and only then did I notice that he was shirtless, his shoulder wound exposed. The wound he got a week and a half ago saving me.
Why did all of this feel like a lifetime ago? Why did it feel like I was at the end of it all?
A tight ache clenched in my chest, as though my heart was struggling to beat properly. Killian turned to me after putting the glass away and pressed his palm against my forehead.
“How are you feeling?” His dark gaze was locked onto mine, filled with concern and care. He cupped my face, making me look at him.
“You developed a fever by the time we got back. It’s gone now, but do you feel any other discomfort?” He stroked my chin gently.
Words abandoned me as I remembered what I had screamed at him.
*If you want the Shadow Knights under your control, if this is all just some game to you-*
Killian might have been a liar to others, ruthless to many, but he was never any of those things to me. I was never truly afraid of his brutal past. I was always afraid of *us* being real. And then, fear crept in when I got too comfortable–when I got “used” to it, when I started to trust it. Everything! thought, everything I believed in, had shattered. I wanted to run.
But where could I run now?
I just stared at him. His expression grew serious as I remained silent.,
“Are you feeling unwell somewhere? Or…” His voice lowered. “Are you thinking about running?”
“Can you read my mind?” I finally said, my voice hoarse. My dry lips ached as I spoke.
“No,” he murmured, “but I can read your eyes.”
A lump of emotion pressed against my windpipe.
“You should…” I hesitated, uncertain of what I wanted to say, of what 1 even wanted from him.
“I should what?”
“You shouldn’t care about me like this,” I finally whispered.
“Why not?”
I let out a shuddering breath. “I might cry.”
“You can.”
“I shouldn’t.”
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I tried to move, tried to get up–to do something. But what was next? What was I even moving toward?
Killian pinned me back against the bed, his gaze burning into mine.
“No more running from me,” he said firmly. “Even if you went to the edge of the world, I would find you.”
I shuddered, clinging to whatever shred of dignity I had left. But he was unmoving, solid as a rock. And I… I wanted something to hold onto so badly.
“Mila,” his voice softened, “for once, just give in. I am here.“”
Our eyes locked. His gaze was pleading, deep and unwavering, piercing through me like a beam of light cutting through darkness.
How ironic–he was the one steady and certain, while I was so utterly lost.
“Why are you like this?” I whispered. “What compels you to want me this way?”
“Beautiful…” He cupped the back of my head with one hand, the other resting against my cheek. His warmth surrounded me, cocooning me in his presence. I felt so fragile, like even the slightest breeze could shatter me.
“You are half of my whole.”
For a moment, my breath stilled.
not trying to win you because I desire you,” he said, his voice steady. “It’s because there is no other way for me to exist without you. So if you want to cry, cry. If you want to rage, do it. But then, get up again.”
He caressed my cheek, his touch grounding me.
“The first time I saw you,” he continued, “I saw both an unbreakable determination and the softness of the sea in your eyes. You are not “nothing“.”
A quiet whimper escaped me.
“You have all the strength you need inside you. You won’t break, because no part of me can break. And if you crumble, I’ll hold you. Cry today, but
tomorrow, I will make them *pay* for every tear.”
A sob broke from my throat. “I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I’m sorry for what I said…”
He pulled me into his arms immediately, and I clung to him, wrapping myself around him as though he were the only thing anchoring me to the world.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered against his skin, “or where to go.”
“Silly girl,” he murmured, stroking the back of my head. “You’re already “here“-with me.”
And just like that, I *broke“, collapsing into him completely. Mind, body, and soul.
I let go of everything and took every ounce of strength he offered.
“I’m here,” he whispered against my hair, over and over again.
Everything I had done–all the choices I had made–had led to this. I would never get the life I planned, a life with my mother. I would never reclaim my childhood. It was all gone.
All I my dreams had been built on a lie.
When I woke again, the room was quiet. Killian was nowhere in sight. I pushed back the covers, and my gaze landed on a note on the nightstand
It read:
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**I will be back soon. I had to check on some things. I ran a bath for you–if the water is still warm, relax. If I’m late, call extension 05 for food. Your medicine is in the first drawer of the nightstand. Don’t forget to take it.”
**Love,
K**
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I stared at the note for a long time.
I had only seen things like this in movies–people leaving notes for each other. No one had ever left a note for me before.
For a moment, it made me feel… strange.
I pulled open the drawer mentioned in the note and, sure enough, there were several strips of different medicines and two bottles. I shut it with a sigh and looked around, taking in the room.
Where were we?
There were no windows, only warm illumination, cream–colored walls, and wooden accents. To the left of the bed, there was a row of shelves and a study table with a lamp. On the right, the room stretched and made an L–shape, leading to a plush cream–colored sofa.
As I walked toward the turn, something gleamed in the corner of my eye.
A built–in wall aquarium.
Golden, orange, and blue fish swam calmly. A starfish clung to the glass.
There was something peaceful about it.
I stood there for what felt like an eternity, tracing every ripple in the blue–green water as it reflected against the wall. Eventually, my gaze landed on a door to the left. Was it the exit? I stepped forward and opened it, only to find the bathroom. Just as Killian had said, the bath was ready. It was large, with showerheads mounted on the ceiling. A fresh set of clothes and a clean towel sat neatly on the open shelves beside the basin counter.
Maybe I should take a bath.
red in the air. As my
I undressed and sank into the water. It was still warm, which meant Killian hadn’t left too long ago. A soft scent of lavende muscles relaxed, the weight of the past few days settled over me, pressing heavily against my chest. I pulled my knees to my chin.
What now?
I had planned for thirty–seven different scenarios after getting my mo- No. The thought hurt too much. After Patronus was with me, everything revolved around her. But now, every time I tried to think ahead, it felt aimless. Dark.
I had to check on everyone at the bunker. Did they know what had happened? Misha and Tong must have found out by now, but—
What happened after I blacked out in the mall? What about Misha? Tong? Jina?
A headache started to build. I sank deeper into the water, trying to ease the tension. My body grew heavy, too sluggish to move. My eyelids drooped
Something was wrong.
I reached for the edge of the tub, but my fingers barely responded. It took too much effort. My limbs felt disconnected, the water lapping against my lips. I tried to fight it, but then-
Everything slipped away.
“Mila!”
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A panicked voice cut through the darkness.
“Mila, wake up!”
It was smooth, familiar–but laced with fear, as if the speaker was losing his mind.
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Something soft pressed against my lips. Warm breath forced its way into my lungs. My throat spasmed, and suddenly, I couldn’t hold it back. I lurched forward, choking, coughing. Strong arms gathered me up, holding me as I shivered. Cold. I was so cold.
“Mila, are you awake? Can you hear me?”
My vision swam into focus. Killian.
I gasped, trying to draw in another breath. My body still wouldn’t cooperate, but I managed to lift a trembling hand and place it against his chest. He seized it instantly, gripping it as if his life depended on it.
“I’m fine…” My voice was barely a whisper. I coughed. “I just couldn’t–”
“Don’t talk.”
He pulled me firmly into his arms, rubbing my back as I coughed. He didn’t let go, not even when my breathing steadied.
Then, he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. His eyes burned with fury.
“What the hell were you thinking? Were you trying to kill yourself?!”
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