Chapter 124
The fork felt heavy in my fingers. Each chew was mechanical, joyless. The food tasted like ash in my mouth.
My appetite vanished within seconds and I had only taken two bites so far.
Tears brimmed in my eyes, and my skin started to itch. A violent urge to scratch my skin off crept up.
I wanted to crawl out of my own flesh. I hated wearing it. It reminded me of every hand that had touched it, every pair of eyes that had watched me like I was an object, not a person.
“The doctor will be here later today to change that bandage on your head. Next time, you want to take a shower, just tell me, okay? Do not let water get under your bandage…” Alessandro voiced sitting beside me.
A sardonic laugh left my lips. I cringed at the thought that how helpless I was in everything I do.
“I will clean…” I whispered, looking down at the half–eaten breakfast.
“What?”
“I will clean the house. I don’t want to leech off on you and you have forbidden me to leave the house, so, I will clean. I’ll
wash the dishes and clean the house in return…..“,
“I have servants for that.”
“You can fire them.”
“You fucking need rest, Nikolai. You are not well,” I could hear the aggression in his voice.
I got up and walked to the sink to rinse off the plate.
“I’m well enough”
The water from the tap ran warm over my fingers. I clung to the sensation like an anchor, trying to steady the storm
within.
I felt him getting up as well. “No, you are not.”
I turned and faced him, glaring straight into his eyes.
“Yes, I am.”
He glared right back. “Stop being fucking stubborn!”
All I saw was red as I shrieked. “Stop acting as if you care for me!”
The fury rushed up like a tidal wave, pulling the ground from under my feet.
I didn’t know what got over me as I hit him on the chest. He stood there unaffected by my assault, his expression stone cold. I hit him again and again, I punched and slapped his chest multiple times. I don’t know why I was hitting him, but I wanted to, I wanted to hurt him. I just wanted to.
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Chapter 124
My fists ached. My breath hitched in ragged gasps. I wanted to scream until my throat bled.
I raised my hand and slapped him across the face, but before I could do anything else, he grabbed my wrist. He twisted me around and pulled my back into his chest, restricting my movement as I struggled against him. He grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them to my chest, my back glued to his front, the side of my face pressed against the side of his face. I could feel his stubble prickling into my skin.
“Let me go! Let me go!” I shrieked as I choked on my sobs.
My body shook with the force of my sobs, I lost all the fight in me, and I felt my body going limp in his arms as his hold on me softened. He still hadn’t let me go but now he held me gently.
The switch from force to tenderness unhinged me further. His Like sorrow. Like shame.
s didn’t feel like a cage anymore–they felt like guilt.
He softly swayed from side to side as if trying to comfort me, I turned my face to the other side, and I cried. I cried for how powerless I was against him, I cried for every single uninvited touch those men left on my body, I cried for my parents, I cried for my weak self, cried for my dead sister and I cried even harder as my eyes fell on the platinum wedding band on his finger.
It gleamed mockingly in the kitchen light. Cold. Perfect. Binding.
I was married to him but I had no place in his life, he should be holding his wife. He humiliated me, punished me, and played games with my mind. Then why was he here? Why was I here?
“WHY?!” I sobbed harder. “Why did you bring me here?! Why did you save me from that place?! Why are you acting like this?! I hate you, I hate you… I hate you”
His lips pressed to my ear, and his warm breath fanned the side of my face. Tears slid down my cheeks uncontrollably as he tried to calm me down.
And in that quiet, broken moment, I hated how much I needed someone to hold me… even if it was him.
