Chapter 47
From a very young age, I knew it didn’t take much to die–or to take someone’s life.
One day, you see your mother, and she tells you she’ll be back in an hour. She leaves you with a kind, elderly neighbor By evening, you find out she might never wake up again.
A small boy who shared a bed with you is beaten to death one day by your orphanage guardian. You wake up to find only his bloody t–shirt in your hand. The guardian tells you he’s gone to heaven, and if you say anything, you’ll go there too.
That night, you pick up a knife. You’re too young, too tired, too hurt to understand why Bob–the boy who shared his candy with you–disappeared like that. He was a little puffball with a toothy smile. To this day, you never forget that smile,
You hold the knife to your guardian’s neck while she sleeps, the bitter, snake–like feeling of hatred nearly suffocating you. But then, another boy walks in -messy–haired, a book in hand, big brown eyes watching you. You look back at the woman you wish would disappear into nothingness. Then, you pull the knife away. You put it back in the kitchen drawer.
The boy with brown eyes, a runny nose, and a book in his hands still stares at you. There’s a cut on his neck, bandaged. You realize he would be the next
victim.
So instead of killing, you choose to protect.
You protect this little friend with everything inside you because, somehow, he saved your soul.
Killing is easy. Saving and protecting–now that truly makes you bleed.
But how long can someone be resilient?
After leaving the orphanage, you think you’ve finally found a home, but instead, you’re forced to sit in a room and study all day. The first jailer isn’t so bad -he treats you nicely. But when he’s gone, the new one takes over. She lets you go outside but won’t let you make friends. She lets you eat, but only
what she wants.
One day, when it all gets too much, you try to escape.
She tells you she has your mother.
If you don’t obey, she’ll kill her.
For the first time, you learn your mother is alive–but you cannot see her. Only through a glass screen, where she’s somewhere unknown. But she’s your mother, right? You endure.
Until one day, the woman locks you in a storeroom, starving you for two days.
When you finally get out, you want nothing more than for her to be gone.
This time, you don’t find a knife. You find a glass bottle from the storeroom. You break it and crush the shards into a fine powder. You mix it into a glass of juice, like sugar.
You serve it to the new, beautiful jailer–the woman who was supposed to be your mother.
She’s about to drink it when a little girl comes running.
“Mom!”
For the first time, the woman smiles. A real, genuine smile.
Maybe your mother would have smiled like that.
1/6
TU.44
J
Chapter 47
She teases the little girl, who has hair like hers but eyes like yours.
Your little sister.
She’s younger than you–too young. She’s not even older than the boy you once protected with everything.
How can you take away that smile?
So you ‘accidentally‘ bump into the woman, and the glass falls before the juice can touch her red–painted lips.
She yells at you to clean it up.
You fall to the ground, your eyes blurring, your heart shattering.
Your own hands prickle with glass, your fingers bleeding.
You choose differently again.
You choose to be human. You endure.
For the little girl.
But your heart goes numb with helplessness.
You find a different way to not be helpless.
You find ways to persevere.
But sometimes, perseverance is not the way.
Maybe the first way was better.
Maybe it should have been like that.
All of my twenty–one years of life flash before me.
Death is easy.
Killing someone is even easier.
But I want to live. Live in peace. And maybe–if I can manage it–find happiness.
Did I think they would try to kill me? I thought there was a three percent chance.
Since I was thirteen, I meticulously planned my life. Every probability was taken into account. I thought that if things ever got worse, Adeline would make me sign everything over to Nicolai and then kill me quickly.
I never thought Francesca would be the one to poison me.
That little girl.
I would’ve been less surprised if Killian had done it. That would’ve made sense.
He was never supposed to be part of this equation.
But he came into my life.
2/6
Chapter 47
Invaded my consciousness.
Made me feel like nothing was out of reach, that everything could be easy and simple.
“Ten minutes,” he had said. “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll clear out everything.”
When the club was ambushed, he took ten minutes that day. Just like he said he would.
I wish he were here now, while I feel like I’m falling into eternal darkness.
I wish he would tell me that this crushing feeling will go away.
That nothing is going to happen to me.
“Mila, come out of this!”
It was a command.
I don’t know where it’s coming from.
But the voice–the sound of it–makes my heart clench.
Pain pricks through me.
Killian…
I never got to tell him.
Did I tell him he was important?
I don’t think I ever did.
“Mila…” His voice is low, like a prayer.
“Beautiful… you can’t do this. Not now.”
I try to reach out, but I’m falling.
Or maybe I’m floating–until I hit the ground.
I gasp. My eyes widen at the light.
“Killian!”
I cough.
My hand feels restricted, and another hand comes to hold mine.
“Mila.”
Hands grab my shoulders and gently help me lie down.
When the face above me comes into focus beneath the blinding white light-
“Killian…”
My racing heart begins to slow.
3/6
10:44 Fri, 11 Jul ri, 11 Jul
Chapter 47
“You’re fine.”
I feel his lips on my forehead. I clutch his hand.
They anchor my thoughts as I try to look around.
I’m in a hospital bed, hooked to an IV.
The heart monitor beeps steadily now.
I try to remember what happened before I-
“Was I poisoned?”
I notice the familiar twitch in Killian’s jaw, the way his eyes darken.
He nods and sits beside me.
He’s still wearing the Shadow Knight uniform, but his t–shirt is wrinkled.
He’s standing, leaning toward me.
I touch his chest and look up at him.
He strokes my cheek gently.
“Don’t do that again, Beautiful.”
For the first time, his voice wavers.
My eyes sting. I try to hold it in, but the tears slip anyway.
I wrap my arms around his waist.
He pulls me to his chest without hesitation, brushing my hair softly.
I close my eyes.
I was scared.
It felt like I was drowning in a bottomless pool, unable to break through the surface.
I cling to him tightly. He feels like an anchor.
When I pull away, he takes my face in his hands and wipes my tears away.
His expression darkens.
“It was Francesca, wasn’t it?” I ask, making sure I saw right.
A crushing sensation spreads through my chest.
Francesca.
I control my thoughts, but fury burns in my veins.
The fact that I didn’t see it coming-
I laugh humorlessly,
4/6
10.44
་ ་ ་ བས་ ་ ས་
Chapter 47
“Let them check you first. We’ll talk about this later.”
Two doctors and three nurses enter. They have no name tags. No IDs.
Killian sits beside me.
I look around.
The room is large–too large for a private hospital room.
“You’re at Shadow Knight headquarters,” Killian says before I can ask.
The doctors silently check my vitals. They nod at Killian.
Then he waves his hand.
“If we’re at Shadow Knight headquarters, what happened at the abandoned factory? Christen Meng and my father…?”
Killian’s jaw tightens.
“Tommen Anderson knew of Adeline’s plan. In fact, he planned the whole thing.”
I clench my jaw.
“My mother. Did you get my mother?”
Silence.
Killian doesn’t answer.
“Killian, tell me my mother is fine.”
His voice turns cold.
“We transferred her securely to the Shadow Knight medical facility.”
But there’s something else.
He softens. “Mila…”
I don’t like the way he says my name.
“You were lied to about your mother’s health.”
My pulse spikes.
“She wasn’t in a self–induced coma. She was in a vegetative state,.. for the last fifteen years. She’s on life support.”
A black hole swallows my heart.
“It means…”
Tears blur my vision.
Killian’s voice is quiet.
“She’s technically dead.”
5/6
