NIKOLAI’S POV
You think you can take him down?” Paul Salvatore asked.
I sighed and started at the wall in front of me mindlessly. I have imagined myself in that room, replaying that night again and again. There were many versions of the last interaction I had with him in my mind.
In one version, he tells me that he lied. He didn’t kill my parents, he didn’t lie to me again and again. He didn’t manipulate me into doing things I didn’t want to do, for instance forcing me to be a gay, totally ruining my ass.
But he didn’t. He loved me, he loved me just like I loved him.
In the second version, after he tells me that he was the one who ordered the shooting of my parents, I pull his gun out and place it over his forehead but then my hand starts trembling and I couldn’t just pull the trigger. I couldn’t kill him.
In every single one of my imaginations regarding Alessandro, they all ended where I tried to kill him, and is failing miserably.
I realized maybe, I don’t want to kill him, maybe I can’t kill him but that doesn’t mean, that I want to be tied to him for the rest of my life.
Our life started with a contract, it was not worth living together.
After Sabrina died, I remember vividly what my father told me. He told me that the contract still stands. My father didn’t give a damn about my feelings. Gay or not, I had to marry Alessandro forcefully.
Everything started with hate.
And then when I felt myself getting physically closer to him, he started punishing me sexually, it was like he was granting me favors. I was inexperienced and new to all those feelings, he was the first man I felt myself getting physically attracted to. I was curious, I wanted to know… to feel what it was like to be a gay.
And then, I got kidnapped by some people I didn’t know but he still dragged me right back into his hell. Then went on with ruining my ass.
I’m not saying that I was completely innocent in all this, I also allowed him to fuck me but it was wrong, all of it. It was a relationship based on a contract and deceit.
And sin. Us being gays, fucking every time was a sin.
Alessandro knew better, I did too… but I loved him with all my heart that time…
And now I just want to be free… from all of it. I have found myself here but I don’t want my life to end here, I have so much to do. I have the power now and I don’t want to lose it ever again.
I like who I am now. No longer a gay.
I don’t think I can ever be this person with Alessandro.
He is a powerful man, and I won’t bend to his will.
I liked being the one with all the power, Alessandro will always treat me like a second–class citizen. I don’t think I can take that anymore. I want to get myself a beautiful girl friend.
We can’t live together now. It won’t work, we won’t work. We will probably kill each other.
Now that Paul asked me this question, I couldn’t help but think… Was I going to New York City to take him down?
1/3
Chapter 178
No, I wasn’t going to New York City to take Alessandro down. It was his territory, he earned it. You can not threaten someone in their own territory.
Alessandro was experienced, he was born in this world, a well known feared mafia. Even if I was now a different person, I couldn’t compete with the amount of malice Alessandro had in him.
I was going to New York to be free of him, to be free of Alessandro, I can’t live with the fear of him coming for me every single day.
I wanted to end this tie with him.
This marriage was holding me down, I was going there to end this marriage, not end Alessandro because there was a time I loved him too much to just kill him off like this, he will probably kill me before I even tried it.
I was going to end this marriage and live my life the way I want to.
I sighed once more and faced Paul, I could hear the maids packing my stuff for the long flight.
“I’m not going to take him down, Paul. I’m going so I can sever the tie I have with this man,” I told him as the men took my suitcases out of the room, one by one.
“You’re Catholic, he is Catholic. Divorce is out of the question…”
I lifted a shoulder, walked to the mirror, and rearranged my tie, “Yeah, well, times have changed.”
He shook his head, “Not in the De Luca.”
I grabbed my purse, “I don’t belong to the De Luca anymore.”
I’m worried for you, Nikolai, that’s all.”
“He can do his worse, I’ll be ready for him, Paul, but unfortunately for him, he can’t kill me.”
I glanced at myself one more time in the mirror then turned to leave.
“How can you be so sure?” he asked.
“Because even just the thought of my dead body makes him sick,” I fake smirked, maybe he had changed his mind about it now. Maybe, he’d like the sight of my dead body very much.
Paul Salvatore frowned, “How do you know that?”
I laughed slightly, shaking my head, “He told me that himself.”
Paul’s eyes widened, “HE DID?” his voice got an octave higher.
“Alessandro has a side, I think I’m probably the only person who knows about that side, so, you don’t have to worry about anyth handle Alessandro.”
I can
“He might have changed, don’t think a man like that would not be out for blood-”
I laughed, “Oh, Paul, I expect him to. I expect this all to be completely messy, bloody, and gory but not at the cost of your men’s lives.”
“The car’s ready,” Marco voiced, disrupting our conversation. I withdrew my hand from my side and offered it in a steady handshake. Paul accepted it immediately. “Just take care of yourself out there, kiddo.
“I will be meeting with Leah in New York and plan what’s nest, everything is going to be fine“, I spoke then I followed Marco out of the house and said goodbye to some maids
2/3
Chapter 178
We got into the car and Marco drove to the airport. There was a private commercial jet waiting for us, a jet that belonged to the Italian government officials. I don’t know how Roberto Lombardi pulled this off but he somehow did.
I came here to Sicily alone, hurt, wounded, and crying, and now I was going back to New York City with three hundred and thirty men loyal to only the Salvatore’s name and Marco who trained me night and day.
I sighed and watched the buildings passing us by as the plane flew off the ground.
I’m not the same stupid little boy anymore, Alessandro.
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