Fucking piece of shit.
thing for exiting. Hnd fee
I hated give like him. The kind who were rocky smiles like momor and drated around like the world ward them Bating with Shan during every break between sets, flashing that seary prin and leasing in tan close like se cued him her r
And num he was calling her pathetic for landing a job and struggling?
Mich. He was jadi hitter. Sour and festering, like
left too long in the tr
I bet than had turned him down wouldn’t surprise me. Ka I knew the want into pricks like him, the kind who talked shout you behind your back with a smirk and a fake laugh.
He was the pathetic one. Not her. Never her
My fists clenched at the thought of his song fore I should’ve penched him in the fucking fare…
I stormed around the comer of the productions trailers, my boots crunching gravel. The smell of dunt, metal, and faint cigarette smoke lingered in the air, but all of that faded when I uw ber
Shan was leaning against my trailer, arms folded tightly over her stomach like she was trying to hold herself together. Her shoulders shook, and fresh neers slipped down her cheeks, catching the fading light and sparkling like betrayal.
Oh lock.
My anger melted, replaced by something far worse… guilt,
I walked over quickly, my throat thick, and without thinking, wrapped my arm around her. She didn’t flinch. She just leaned into me and sobbed into my jacket like she’d been waiting for someone, anyone to hold her. I rubbed her back, slow and steady, trying to comfort her the only way I knew how.
“Did you hear any of that?” I asked softly, my voice low with guilt, already feeling like an asshole for not shutting him up sooner. “He’s just being a—“
“He’s night, you know,” the said quietly, her throat hoarse like glass had scraped through it. Her words cracked open something inside me.
pathetic and washed un
| up.”
“There were plenty of other girls better for the part, I only got it because I know the author of the book,” she hiccupped. Her voice trembled, and each word hit like a stone. “And it’s only doing well because of you, Nikolai. Everyone loves you”
My chest tightened, the breath catching in my lungs. I wanted to scoff and tell her she had no idea what she was talking about, but I kept my mouth shut,
tense, and stroked her hair as she cried into my chest. Her tears soaked into my hoodie, warm and aching. She sounded so small. So defeated.
Shan subbed quietly, her body curling into mine as she wrapped her arms around me, I held her tighter, pressing my chin against the top of her head. My thoughts raced angry, bitter, chaotic. Each second birthed a new fantasy of finding Mich and slamming him into the pavement.
“Come on, don’t cry,” I said, pulling away gently and wiping her tears with my sleeve. Her face was blotched red, her eyes swollen and rimmed with pain. She looked like she’d been hit by something much heavier than words, “Tuck Mich.”
“He’s only talking shit because he’s jealous of you.”
She sniffed, her lower lip trembling as she looked at me with those bloodshot eyes, full of confusion and disbelief.
“What’s he got to be jealous of?“
“I fled her hair, “I don’t know.” I scoffed, trying to lighten the weight in the air. “Maybe the fact that you’re smoking hot and you have no interest offering a small smile like a Band–Aid over bullet wound. “So fuck Mich. You’re smoking hot and an incredible actress. You shouldn’t care what he thinks, because I know and you know–that you’re inci
Incredible”
And then just like that Shan smiled.
1/3
Chapter 96
But it wasn’t a light smile. It was loaded, Intense. Like something had shifted in the al ferween a
Without warning, the grabbed the front of my handie and yanked me toward her. Her lips crashed into mine, hut and agent if hendid the hark of my head, finds thirading into my hair, holding me there like she was afraid I’d disappear
1 didn’t even have time to tract before she turned me around, dimming me gently but firmly against the trailer. The metal wi heart jackhammered in my chest as I kissed her back confused, speechless, completely lost in the moment.
1 polled her closer, her body molding against mine. I ignoted the part of my brain that screamed at me in stup. The micer that warning and someone else’s name like a ghost.
My
Her soft lips moved in perfect rhythm with mine, like they’d always known the shape of me. When the masted softly men my mouth, it hit me like In the gut how much I didn’t dislike kiving her,
| I
thai t
What the hell was I doing?
My hands tightened at her waist. I pressed my lips lander against hers, my body betraping me as I rubbed my growing erection against her. I could feel her pulse through her skin, her need matching mine. She moaned louder, and I panicked.
Quickly, I replaced her lips with my hand, suffling her sound. She laughed into my palm, breathless and reckless.
We were both panting, our lips swollen, our chests heaving. The air around un buzzed like static, our bodies still as we listened for any inund th mean we’d been caught. The silence was thick. Unforgiving.
When we heard nothing, I slowly moved my hand and stepped away from her. My breath shook. My mind spiraled. The weight of what just happened slammed into me all at once like a truck I hadn’t seen coming.
Fuck, Nikola. What the hell did you just do?
This felt totally wrong.
“Do you want to come back to my place with me?” she asked,
The words felt like a live wife. I tumed to her, completely bewildered and speechless. My thoughts scrambled for solid ground.
The image of that ratty couch I’d slept on all weekend at Jack’s flickered in my mind, flat cushions, the smell of old pizza, and a pillow that wasn’t even mine. Then I looked at her.
Sham
She was looking at me like she meant it. Like she needed me. Like maybe I needed her too.
But I couldn’t. Not like this. Not while my heart still.. She wasn’t Alessandro. She can’t replace him.
“Sorry” I closed my eyes tightly and rubbed my face with both hands, trying to push the guilt out of my skin, I felt like the worst person alive as I snapped luck to my senses. “I can’t”
Because I still…
“I’m sorry, Shan I shouldn’t have even kissed you.”
I looked at her one last time, her chest rising sharply as she tried to catch her breath, her beautiful face full of hurt and confusion and then I walked away.
Like a coward.
Who’d just made a huge fucking mistake.
