“From Ashes to Hope) Chapter 15
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I cried so hard that I started to dry heave, my body trembling uncontrollably,
a tremor of my soul.
I kept apologizing to Lily’s name on the tombstone, my apologies echoing
through the silent cemetery, hoping she could forgive her failed mother.
I prayed silently, hoping that in her next life, she would be born into a truly
happy family, a place filled with love and warmth, instead of our broken home,
where she was entangled with pain and suffering.
I fell into deep regret, the “what ifs” flooding my mind like a tidal wave.
If only I had known this tragic day would come, if only I had understood
that John’s heart could never truly love me, if only…
These assumptions kept surfacing, intertwining, and haunting my mind.
But I could only manage a bitter smile, my lips curling helplessly.
I knew there were no “what ifs” in this world. Everything had happened,
locked away by the shackles of time, irreversible.
Gradually, my thoughts drifted back to the time when Lily was born.
John was so indifferent then, leaving me alone in the hospital, only cared for
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by medical staff. His cold retreating figure seemed to carve a deep wound in my
heart.
When I was at my weakest, unable to even get out of bed, he took our
newborn daughter to see Raina, completely disregarding my feelings.
He said he wanted to foster their bond while Lily was still young and didn’t
know any better.
Now, looking back, his words inadvertently revealed his true intentions,
intentions hidden in the shadows, now illuminated by the light of time, glaringly
obvious.
Even then, he had already planned to bring Raina into our lives.
And in his mind, I was just a choice he had to make under various
constraints, like a product reluctantly selected, without genuine love or
appreciation.
When he was forced to give up Raina, it was as if he had lost the most
precious thing in his heart. The sense of loss entwined him like a vine, the pain
amplifying Raina’s significance in his heart.
Unfortunately, it was too late when I finally saw through it all. Time, like a
rushing river, couldn’t be reversed. Everything had reached a point of no return,
the missed opportunities and wrong choices all swept away by the currents of
time.
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I couldn’t help but wonder, if my mother was watching me from heaven,
would she blame me for being naive, or would she feel sorry for me?
It was my longing for my mother and my speculation. At this painful
moment, I yearned for her guidance.
I leaned my upper body against the cold tombstone, its hardness seeping
through my clothes, like a heavy blow from fate, a stark reminder of life’s cruelty.
I imagined the tombstone as Lily’s small body, as if I could feel her warmth
again, my deep attachment to her.
I reached out and gently stroked the photo on Lily’s tombstone, each touch
like a conversation with her soul, a communication between us in another world.
In the photo, her smile was still radiant, her eyes sparkling with childlike
innocence, the most beautiful memory she left for this world.
But it was all in the past, she was truly gone. Her adorable mannerisms, her
laughter that was as clear as a silver bell, all vanished from this world.
Leaving me behind, alone, struggling in this endless pain and
regret.
No, I couldn’t wallow in the pain of the past anymore.
Lily’s innocent smile flashed before my eyes, her voice seemed to echo in my
ears. She was so precious, her life cruelly taken away by fate.
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I had to seek justice for her, I couldn’t let her death be in vain.
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Since John was investigating Raina, I would personally track down the hit-
and–run driver, I would make that despicable person pay.
Filled with a surge of strength, I hurried out of the cemetery.
I stood by the road, waving my hand anxiously. A taxi pulled over. I quickly
got in and told the driver, “Please take me to River Road.”
My heart pounded all the way, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation,
hoping to find some useful clues.
Finally arriving at my destination, I got out of the car and looked at the street
me, the place where Lily’s life ended.
before
I took a deep breath and started asking the residents around for information.
I entered a small store, the owner sitting behind the counter.
I looked at him earnestly and said softly, “Excuse me, did you see the traffic
accident that happened here a few nights ago? Did you notice the driver or any
details about the vehicle?”
The owner frowned and thought for a moment, then shook his head, “You
mean the accident where that little girl was killed? Sorry, I was closed that night,
I didn’t see anything. The police already checked the security footage, I’m sure
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they’ll find him.”
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My hope dimmed slightly, but I didn’t want to give up.“Can I see the footage?”
I asked hopefully.
The owner sighed and waved his hand, “My security camera didn’t capture
anything, the police said the resolution was too low, the footage too blurry, it
couldn’t help.”
I nodded, disappointed but still trying to encourage myself, continuing to
ask door to door.
Some people frowned, waved me away impatiently, muttering “I don’t know,
I don’t know“; others frowned slightly, their eyes filled with sympathy, but shook
their heads helplessly, offering no useful information.
Just when I was starting to lose heart, my footsteps heavy with
disappointment, I saw a notice on a nearby bulletin board, posted by Officer Lee,
seeking information about the hit–and–run accident.
My eyes lit up, the words on the notice like a beacon in the darkness,
dispelling the gloom in my heart, rekindling my hope.
I leaned closer to the notice, my eyes fixed on the content, carefully reading
every word. It described the time and location of the accident in detail,
emphasizing that a reward would be given for any valuable information.
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Officer Lee and his team were also working hard to find the perperam. I
thought, they would definitely find him.
At that moment, I noticed a young beggar not far
away.
His clothes were ragged, his hair messy like a bird’s nest and he was stating
at me intently, his eyes bright, as if holding a secret.
I had a hunch, maybe this beggar was resting nearby when the accitiem
happened, maybe he knew something.
I walked over quickly, crouched down gently, and asked suffy, with a gene and hopeful gaze, “Hey sweetie, did you see what happened that nighe
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