Chapter 28
Damien’s POV:
What just happened?
Did I just mess things up? Did I just lose Irene?
I stood in the kitchen, confused and wondering what went wrong. I mean everything had been going so well between Irene and me, and I didn’t notice if at any point something I did was out of line.
I can feel she wants me just as much as I want her. The lust exuding from her each time she was near me, talked to me, or even saw me was so overwhelming.
And that’s what assured me that I was on the right track. So why will she suddenly change her mind?
Perplexed, I slid down to the floor with my back resting on the kitchen counter.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen?” I muttered to myself. “What do I do now?” I questioned myself, but it was so starkly clear that I had no solution hiden in any corner of my brain.
“Damien,” the door opened as I heard Delores, “are you in here?” She asked as she walked further into the kitchen with her eyes scanning around and looking for me.
“I’m here.” I waved at her as the kitchen counter was obstructing her from seeing that I was sitting on the cold tiled floors, -thinking about the only woman for me and if I had just lost her.
“Oh, why are you on the floor?” She asked as she walked towards me with a worried expression.
I couldn’t give her a reply to that question. My head was blank and my mind was heavy with unanswered questions. I still couldn’t believe the words she said to me.
Or was karma back at me? Is it my turn to experience the kind of pain she had gone through when I divorced her and stuck with Eva instead? Was it my turn to be heartbroken?
“Is it because of Irene?” Delores asked as she took the space beside me on the floor and sat on it, emitting a sigh as if she could see my worries furrowing my forehead.
“Yes, I don’t know what happened. I can’t say exactly what went wrong.” I expressed in a mellow voice that represented my sullen mood.
“I noticed she is also in a bad mood all of a sudden. What did she say to you?” Delores asked, and I turned to her to explain, because she was the only person that knew Irene and was close to her.
“She suddenly wants us to stop getting closer. We had a fantastic wedding night and I’ve tried to tread carefully. But I admit that it is hard to resist her, however, I didn’t force her to do anything with me. I went with her flow and gave her room to say no. But she didn’t. In fact, she wants me as well. So that’s why I don’t understand where all of this was coming from.” I explained to her, my throat tightening as if it was about to stick together when it was just the thought of losing Irene that got me like that.
“Oh,” Delores said, smiling meaningfully. And I could see that the expression had a million words behind them.
“Irene is scared. And she is going to go to any length to guard her heart, especially from you.” Delores started and I could very much understand why Irene was like that, yet it hurts to hear it.
“What you did five years ago was a painful memory that still haunts her until today. Yet, you are the only man who she allowed to get intimate with her after all these years. So, she must be confused and torn between the decisions she should make. And she is doing all of this because of her son. Because she doesn’t want him going through a hard time.” Delores
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explained and it was sad to hear that she is living for her son and not for herself.
I do understand that mothers are meant to be selfless, nevertheless, it’s still sad.
“So in essence, what I’m saying is that it will be difficult for Irene to completely let go of her fear and allow herself freely to be with the man that broke her. It has to be tough. Give it a thought and try to think from her perspective,” she said and continued after a bit of pause as if she wanted those words to sink first.
457
“Irene has gone through a lot of hardships. I saw it with my eyes so I don’t blame her for being so guarded. She’s just looking out for herself and doing what’s best for herself and her son. So please, try to be more understanding and gentle.” She said and got on her feet.
I did the same.
“Forget lust. Try to fight it. Now is not the time for that. Now is the time to show her that you are no longer that man who shredded her into pieces. Now is the time you should be gentle and imbibe more fluffy actions that will make butterflies flutter their tiny wings in her stomach. Now is the time to make her smile and now is the time to create new memories that will overlap the old painful ones. She doesn’t need only to forgive you, Irene needs to forget those pains.” Delores patted my shoulder, and every word she spoke struck my heart in an impactful way.
“I want to see my best friend happy. And if you are not capable of causing her euphoria, then I wouldn’t hesitate to support her leaving this place in the blink of an eye. Her happiness is all that matters to me.”
She finished and flashed me a smile. It made me feel as if I kind of had a supporter even though she had made it clear that Irene is all that matters.
“Thank you for this. I’m able to understand and see things differently.” I told her, genuinely grateful.
“It’s my pleasure.” She replied to me.
“Should I go talk to her now?” I asked, ready to apologize on my knees if I had to.
“No, give the woman some air.” Her accent sipped in as if she was scolding me. “Let’s finish making this lunch. We should all still tend to our stomachs regardless of the tension between you two.” Delores chuckled, making me smile as well.
“I’ll do that then. Let’s finish making these Sandwiches.” I told her and we continued with the sandwiches.
I felt a bit lighter than some minutes ago. It was refreshing to talk to someone who was more in line with Irene’s emotions than I am. Someone who saw her when she was wrecked by me and fixed herself while becoming a mother.
I was still curious about Charlie’s father, but I guess I was in no position to ask any questions now. Not when I was still on probation myself.
I should definitely focus on my redemption first. Other things can come after.
As we finished with the sandwiches, I asked, “Will you go give her sandwiches to her?”
“When Irene is in these moods, she doesn’t want disturbance. So, don’t worry about feeding her. She’s a fucking chef. She knows what to do when she gets hungry.” Delores answered playfully, lightening the thickened atmosphere.
“Okay,” I nodded and helped carry the tray of drinks while Delores carried the other tray where the sandwiches were. Getting to the living room, Charlie was already awake, bouncing in Steven’s arm who looked terrified that he might hurt himself. I chucked at the sight.
Once I dropped the tray of drinks, I picked a few sandwiches to a plate and sat on a couch.
“Charlie, come here.” I made grabby hands at him and he quickly rushed to me, knowing I was calling him for food. He was a foodie and it was a no–brainer when his mother cooked a lot. It’s only natural he liked food.
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“Sandwich!” He said in acute voice that made me smile.
“Do you like sandwiches?” I asked and he nodded cutely. “Then let’s have some sandwiches, yeah?”
“Yes, my superhero.” He answered with a cheer and I chuckled because he was such a cute and handsome boy.
A bit jealous that his father has good genes.
I began to eat with him. Delores and Steven joined us as well. The only thing that was missing was Irene’s presence. And her laughter. Oh, and her sweet voice.
“Where’s mummy?” Charlie asked.
“She’s outside, Charlie. Mummy wanted to see the beautiful sky. Delores quickly answered.
“I want to see too!” Charlie exclaimed.
“Let’s finish eating first, then I’ll take you to mummy,” Delores replied to him and he nodded, eating more seriously.
His cute acts made us all laugh at some point. Even the serious Steven laughed with us. And once we were done eating. Delores wanted to pack the trays but Steven interjected in a swift and smooth manner.
“I’ll do it,” he said and quickly packed the tray and left for the kitchen while Delores helped Charlie with finishing his banana milk.
“Take me to mummy.” Was the first thing he said the moment he finished his drink.
But the front door opened before Delores could even reply to Charlie. Turning my neck, I saw Irene walking in with a poker expression I’d seen on her face several times.
“Are you guys ready to leave?” She asked Delores the moment she got to the lounge without sparing me a glance or anything.
“Not really. Charlie wanted to come watch the beautiful sky with you outside,” Delores answered.
“Well, there’s nothing more to be doing here. We should head back to our Air B and B apartment.” She said to Delores and it sounded as if I had heard her wrong.
“What do you mean by ‘we‘, Irene?” Delores beat me to asking the same question that was pricking my mind.
“I am not staying here. I don’t need to. When it’s time to go for the honeymoon, Steven can come pick me up.” Irene answered and I immediately got on my feet.
Was it so bad that she couldn’t even bear to stay with me?
“You don’t need to go. You’ve expressed yourself and I won’t cross any line you draw. So don’t go. I don’t mind Delores and Charlie staying with us. But don’t go.” I told her. I don’t want her to go away.
I need her close to work on my redemption. I just don’t want to lose her.
“I am not staying, and that is final.” She deadpanned.
“But why?” I asked. Steven walked out of the kitchen and saw what was going on as well.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you, I just know this is what I want.” She replied and I felt like my wings were crushed by her words. It seems as though I can’t change her mind.
“Okay, you actually don’t need to. Just try to stay safe.” I didn’t want her to feel as if I was pressuring her into what she didn’t want to do.
زياء
Chapter 28
After hugging Charlie, he waved me goodbye and they left. Irene didn’t even look back. She looked so mean and I knew she was really serious about the words she uttered.
Steven will be driving them there before he comes back to my place so we can talk about work. But I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to discuss business.
So for the entire time that I was alone in the huge house that I had dreamed would be mine and Irene’s. I was there thinking and thinking only. Yet, I still didn’t know where to start with how haywire everything had become.
Have I really lost Irene?
Or was she avenging her heart?
These thoughts burdened me for the rest of the evening. And I was solution–less. So I could only hope that Delores was right and I still had a chance.
Else….?
