Chapter 65
Trene’s POV:
“I don’t think I’m ready for that talk,” I told her, looking away as I got on my feet because I couldn’t bear the sad expression
in hereves.
“Please.” She grabbed my hand as I wanted to get up from the chair. I was not walking away, I only wanted to stretch my sorel muscles from sleeping off on a chair. However, her soft and sad tone hugged at my heartstrings.
But I couldn’t give in. Not now,
“Please, Irene. I’m so sorry for everything I did to you. Please.” She begged and her words were twisting my heart in a way
that I didn’t like.
“I know how bad and cruel I was to you, and 1 also know no amount of words I say to you can heal the wounds in your heart that I caused. But I need you to know that I’m so sorry and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” She said and all I could do was chuckle.
Did she really think earning forgiveness from someone you have brutally hurt was easy?
Did she think her words were going to easily sway me?
I laughed even more and she watched me, surprised by my reaction to her words.
Just like that, uh?” I asked as I wondered if the past pains were supposed to magically disappear. My tone was sarcastic and my look was questioning.
“No, I know it can’t happen just like that. But hope we can start from somewhere.” She replied.
“It’s so many that it’s impossible to just start from anywhere,” I replied in a harsh tone which was something I was trying to avoid. This isn’t what a weak–minded person like her should be bearing. She shouldn’t be hearing things that could trigger her. But her words would only make me forget that she needs more care than scolding right now.
“Irene. I’m very sorry.” She began crying and I knew if I kept treading this redemption journey with her, it wouldn’t result
well.
“Please, I know I don’t deserve you or your care. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need to do this. I need to seek your forgiveness. Being on the brink of death has made me rethink a lot of things. She said in a cracked tone as she was still. sobbing
“You are the only family I have left in this world. And you are also the only person that I’ve hurt the most in this world. If I leave this world without earning your forgiveness feels like I would be sent to an extra hellish afterlife. I’ve made so many errors and I don’t even know where to begin with all my bad actions towards you.” She kept on talking and all her words were doing to me was to keep riling me up in a way that I didn’t want.
“Are you really sure you want us to do this?” I asked one more time, because if she really doesn’t stop then I have to let her know that there’s no way I’m holding back,
“Yes, Irene. If we don’t do this now, I will keep feeling like I don’t deserve to really live because if you don’t want to talk about it, then it is as if I really can’t ever earn your forgiveness. So what then is the point of living this life?” She replied and I nodded my head slowly.
I dragged the chair away from her bed and sat a bit far from her I don’t want to be close to her while we trash this entire shit out. And that’s if the shit can really be trashed out
“Then let’s do this,” I said to her after taking my seat and my entire focus was on her.
14:35 Wed, Oct 30
Chapter 65
Even though I wasn’t ready for this, maybe it was now or never. Maybe it will worsen things or better matter, I do not care anymore. All I can do is offer assistance to aid her recovery. And if I have to go back to my old decision of helping her from
afar, then so be it.
“Growing up. I was very envious of you. Everyone loves you while I was always the daughter on the side. They cheered you on more than they did for me. They prioritized you and things about you more than me. It just felt like they preferred you over me so when I realized how things were. I had to start working hard to get their attention.” She began and I said nothing. allowing her to speak and express herself. Her selfish reasons.
“I had to start doing things that will make them hate you and love me more, which was why I started accusing you of things and always trying to put you into trouble. But it only sucked so much more when everything I did to get their attention was futile. It was so painful that it felt like a huge heartbreak. And this only made me worsen my plan for you, not caring about the outcome or whatever happens after.” She said and I still managed to keep quiet even though I was beginning to fume a smoky beast
“Each time everyone seemed to love you, I got more hateful and jealous, and this followed me into our adulthood and I could never bear to see you happy.” She said this time with tears streaming down her eyes.
Tears. They are an entire emotion on their own. They are so profound to the point that it almost feels like a mimicking ellect when someone cries, most times, it makes another person want to cry.
–
And when tears stain words, all I can feel is the honesty lacing the person’s intention. It reveals if the person is being truthful or not. And as much as I don’t want to believe that Eva is the type of person to be honest, well, the tears in her eyes speaks otherwise.
And should I believe those ocean eyes!
I don’t know
“The mindset was that I am supposed to be more loved. Whether it’s our parents, or our teachers, or our classmates, or friends, or Damien. I felt I should be more loved, more seen, more adored, and appreciated. But it always turns out to be you getting all of the things I wish to have. And you get them effortlessly, while I work so hard for it and all I get is peanuts It felt unfair. She expressed, and I didn’t know if I should be sad or angry.
Her words were giving me mixed emotions.
“You know what’s funny in all of the things you have been saying?” I asked her, an emotionless smile settling on my face.
“What?” Her voice was still croaky and tears were still falling out of her eyes,
“All you have been thinking all these years was that Irene was enjoying. She was getting all the love and everything was happening so easily for her. But you never knew the real truth behind my life. You are a jealous kid. You have been that way since you were a kid. And it only bloomed larger as you grew, so don’t blame your actions on how I was being treated, but rather, you should acknowledge the fact that you are a very envious soul.” I said to her, pouring out a tiny bit of my pain into those words. They were not even up to an ounce
She was quiet. She looked at me as if I just cracked a nut, it was obvious to the eyes that was the kind of person she was.
A jealousy–ridden soul.
“You are not saying anything anymore?” I laughed. “It’s so easy to cover up your true self under the excuse of how I was treated while we were growing up, yeah?” I asked and she vigorously shook her head that I feared she might develop a migraine for such a shake.
“It’s not that.”
“It’s then what?” I asked, cutting her short as her words were no longer making much sense. It seems as if instead of seeking forgiveness, she’s instead looking for excuses to cover up the real reason why she did all that she had done to me
|||
14:35 Wed, Oct 30
Chapter 65
“It is then fucking what, Eva?” I raised my voice as I simultaneously shot to my feet.
2.38%2
“This doesn’t seem like an apology. The essence of this conversation is seeping away and all it is doing is angering me.” I told her as 1 angrily marched near her, while also reminding myself not to allow my emotions to consume me to the point where I get physically violent.
“Let me refresh your memory about the recent events alone.” My voice came out low but had a dangerous lilt to it. Eva looked terrified and I’m glad she is. Because if I actually let out all my suppressed anger, the heat alone is enough to melt
into goo.
“You locked me up in a cold fucking room. I began. “You are also my number one suspect for the fire in that room my son was in You kidnapped me and left me in the hands of monsters in the skin of human beings. You did all of that because of what? Our parents favored me more than you? Or because Damien loved me more than you? What exactly is your reason for doing all of the horrible bullshits you have been doing to me?” I shouted and I wouldn’t be surprised if a nurse rushes in because of my loud volume..
*If I could feel my legs. I would go on my knees and grovel. But all I can do is sit here and cry while begging for your forgiveness. I have nothing else. I have no words. I know that I was more than horrible to you and this is my first time trying to apologize for something, so I’m sorry for not being remorseful or sorry. But I am. I am very sorry,” She cried, her tears were probably my weakness and it felt as though she could feel it too.
As if she could tell what my weak points were.
“I am crazy, okay?!” She raised her voice. “I may need more than physiotherapy, but I may also need psychotherapy. I know that I’m utterly bad and I don’t when my head will get the perfect reset it needs. But this accident has opened my eyes to see things in a different light. And I am ready to atone for my sins. I will do anything to earn your forgiveness. Just tell me what to do and I will do it” She said and I sighed, walking away from her to look out into the window, let that fresh air hit my face while I get to think about where all of this will eventually lead to
1 looked outside, gazing at the busy road ahead with distant honking sounds reaching my ears. There was also no peace in the outside world of this hospital. There is chaos everywhere. No breathing space. No escape.
And it only meant one thing- I have to face what I have ahead of me.
“Irene, please talk to me.” Eva pleaded, and her tone of pleading managed to penetrate into my heart.
“You want my forgiveness?” I asked, still facing outside.
“Yes, Irene.” She answered and before I said the next thing, a question popped into my head that made me take a pause.
“Are you really going to forgive the devil?”
#
