40: An Official Title
TARA
I was going to pretend like I didn’t know that Aidan’s beta was currently following me as I made my way home after I walked out of them earlier.
Certain that Aidan must have sent him to be my bodyguard since it was still the early hours of the morning, I walked home in silence, wondering why within the last few hours, Aidan had riled me up more times than I could count.
When I got to the front of my house, I turned to Jace, who was still following me, and I watched his failed attempt to act natural like he was just some stranger passing by.
“You can go now, Jace. This is me,” I said, pointing to my apartment. “It was nice meeting you, even if it wasn’t under a much better circumstance.”
After a few seconds of waiting without getting any response from him, I unlocked the door and went inside.
Letting my bag drop to the floor carelessly, I shrugged off my coat and my shoes.
I needed to see Nadia, and then I needed coffee or sleep, or both.
I was still contemplating on which one to do first when Jenna appeared in the kitchen with her sleepy face.
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“Morning,” she said, yawning loudly.
“Morning, Jenna,” I sighed. “This is becoming a routine where you have to keep an eye on Nadia while I go on and about doing heaven knows what. Maybe I should get a babysitter for her.”
“Nonsense,” Jenna waved me away, dragging her feet over to the coffee machine to make herself a cup.
Without that, she could walk around for the rest of the day looking like she was thrown out of the casting set for an apocalypse movie.
“Thank you, Jenna,” I said, meaning it from the bottom of my heart.
“Anytime,” she replied with another yawn. “Is you–know–who still in one piece? Or did Collin succeed in his scams this time?”
I shook my head. “Aidan is okay.”
“And you? How are you feeling?”
With the way Jenna’s know–it–all look was currently trained on me, I knew that if I lied, she would see right past me.
I also needed someone to talk to because I’d realized that burdens were significantly reduced when I shared them with a listening ear.
“Scared, confused, but mostly guilty,” I confessed, letting out a deep and tired breath. “I’m feeling guilty, and it’s eating at me slowly.”
Jenna turned away from the coffee machine, giving me her full attention.
40, An Official Tile
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“Why are you feeling guilty, Tara? You’ve done nothing wrong, and you said he’s fine, right?”
“He is, but what if he wasn’t? He’s been here for weeks, and I haven’t had the heart to introduce who he really is to Nadia. What if she’s missing out on so much? What if she’s lacking?” I asked in a whisper, voicing out my biggest fears.
I went on. “What if in my attempt to protect her from danger, and protect my heart from getting hurt again, I’m sentencing her to doom?”
“Oh, Tara,” Jenna called softly, nothing but care in her eyes. “Will you let go of the what–ifs? And what are you talking about Nadial missing out on something or lacking?” She asked. “You’ve been. both Nadia’s father and mother, sibling, friend, and everything in between since she was born.”
My throat tightened as I listened to Jenna speak, willing myself to see what she saw.
“You’ve crossed hurdles that many people would have toppled over, and you did that with a smile on your face while raising one of the smartest and most beautiful people I’ve seen in all my life, and I say that with utmost sincerity. She’s not lacking, and you’re not hurting her, okay?”
“I just feel like I could have handled it better. Given him a chance earlier, for Nadia.”
Jenna shook her head. “You went through something traumatic at a time when no one gave you a chance to breathe, and it took so much for you to get to where you are now. You don’t get to squeeze yourself into that spot where you are selfless for others, okay? They move at your pace, no matter how long that
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takes, you hear me?”
I nodded, unable to get the words out as the emotions. swallowed me.
“And Nadia seems just fine with Aidan. Putting an official title on it wouldn’t change a thing in my opinion.”
“What did I do to deserve you, Jen? I don’t think I could ever pay you back for all you do for me.” My eyes were getting blurry with emotions.
“Well, you could start by letting me have my coffee, and maybe take me out to dinner soon. We haven’t hung out in forever.”
I laughed, nodding my head.
“You’re right.”
“Go on,” Jenna urged. “I’ll take care of her when she wakes, so you can get some sleep before then.”
I walked over to the other side of the counter where Jenna was standing, and I lost myself in her sisterly hug. Each day when I said my prayers to the moon goddess, I never forgot to offer my thanks for Jenna, but somehow I felt as if that wasn’t enough.
She was a literal Angel.
Leaving Jenna to take her ‘coffee in peace, I went over to Nadia‘ s room to find her still soundly asleep. I made sure that my feet. were as light as possible on the ground, so I didn’t wake her up.
Kneeling by her bedside, I pressed a kiss full of tenderness to her forehead, and as quietly as I came in, I made my way out of the room, leaving the door slightly open.
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40, An Official Titl
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I didn’t have enough energy to hop in the bath since I was so exhausted from staying up all night, so I settled on cleaning myself with a wet rag before I slid under my covers.
Right when I was drifting off to sleep, a picture of Aidan’s lips only inches away from mine appeared in my mind, igniting a part of me that had been dormant for so long.
The treacherous thought that I had of kissing him replayed in my head, and I vigorously shook it off.
“I only said that because I thought he was going to die. I didn’t really mean it,” I mumbled to myself, right before my eyes. closed.
I just hoped, really hoped, that that was the case.
